


My Favorite Person

by NeverBeenAWriter



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comforting Phil Lester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 14:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18592843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverBeenAWriter/pseuds/NeverBeenAWriter
Summary: I was feeling a bit down last night, so around 5 AM when I still hadn't fallen asleep I wrote this. It was mostly just written to help me work through some stuff and I'm doing much better now ^^ Just thought I might as well upload it.I hope you're all doing well <3





	My Favorite Person

Phil was up late editing a video in his room, he had promised it would be up the next day, but an issue with the audio made it take longer than he’d intended. It was well after midnight when he finally felt it was ready to be posted, putting it aside and setting an alarm to remind him to post in the morning. He got up from his bed and stretched; his limbs sore form being still for so long. 

 

He put his laptop aside and changed into his PJ’s, leaving his room to go brush his teeth and do his nighttime routine. As he passed by Dan’s room he stopped, he could hear a weird noise. He leaned in, putting his ear against the door and listening closer. He could make out the telltale signs of Dan’s voice, low and muttering, muffled by something.

 

Phil was instantly concerned, it wasn’t often that Dan spoke to anyone on the phone, especially someone who wasn’t him, and although Dan did talk to himself sometimes it wasn’t normally so quiet, like he was scared to be heard. Phil couldn’t make out any of the words but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he checked on his friend. He knocked lightly on the door. “Dan are you awake?” he said quietly. 

 

He didn’t get a response. Was he crazy? Had Dan just fallen asleep with a podcast on? No, he could pick out Dan’s voice from a crowd of thousands, there was no way he was mistaken. He hesitated before slowly opening the door and peaking his head inside. “Dan?” he said softly. Again he didn’t get a response. For a brief second he thought maybe Dan was just muttering in his sleep, but he knew the other man too well. Dan was pretending to sleep.

 

“Daniel, I know you’re awake,” Phil said gently, coming closer to the bed and taking a seat on the end of it. The light from the partially open door lit the room just enough that he could see when Dan’s eyes opened.

 

“Sorry,” Dan replied, looking ashamed. “I’m not crazy,” he added.

 

“I didn’t say you were,” Phil replied with a soft chuckle. “Is everything okay?” he asked, his eyes adjusting to the darkness and showing a much clearer picture of what was happening. Dan’s eyes were red and his cheeks wet, he’d been crying. Dan didn’t reply so Phil moved up the bed to sit beside him. “Mind if I sit with you?” he asked.

 

“No…” Dan muttered, keeping his eyes downcast towards the bed. They sat in silence for a couple minutes, Phil knowing Dan would talk when he was ready. “I’m sorry Phil,” Dan said, breaking the silence.

 

“For what?” Phil replied, keeping a bit of distance between them. Whenever Dan was hurting he wanted so badly to pull him close and wipe his tears, hold him until he felt okay again, but he resisted, he’d wait and let Dan come to him.

 

“For earlier,” Dan responded. “I yelled at you,” he added, looking up for a quick second to meet Phil’s eyes before looking down again. 

 

“It’s okay,” Phil replied sweetly, putting his hand down close to Dan’s, letting Dan have the option to take it if he wanted to. 

 

“I was mad at myself, not at you. You know that, right?” Dan questioned, eyeing Phil’s hand.

 

Phil made a noise of agreement. “I’ve known you long enough to read between the lines,” he replied. “You know I’m not mad, yeah?”

 

Dan nodded slowly. “I know, but I feel guilty about it, you’ve been so good with me lately,” he replied. “I mean, you’re always good with me, but lately I’ve been needier and clingier and you’ve let me be that way.” Dan’s hand slid over and rested on top of Phil’s.

 

“I don’t mind you being that way, Dan,” Phil responded, lacing their fingers together. “I enjoy being the person you come to, I don’t want you to be in here by yourself feeling hurt,” Phil explained, moving down a bit on the bed so he was more eye level with Dan. 

 

“I’ve just been feeling like a broken mess lately,” Dan said with a sigh. “I know it’s just a phase, the side effects of my depression, but whenever you’re not around I feel sad, but when you are around I’m mad at myself for trying to get you to focus on me…” A tear rolled down his face again. “I want you to be the best you can be and I don’t want to hold you back,” he said, his voice breaking.

 

That’s when it hit Phil what Dan had been muttering about, he was trying to find a way to give Phil an out. Tell him he’d done enough, that he didn’t need to take of him anymore. That’s when Phil broke, tears coming in a flash and running down his face. “Dan,” Phil said softly, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. “I know this is your depression talking and I know you know that to,” he said, trying to stay calm. “You know you make me a better person, I wouldn’t know how to be myself without you, you make me who I am.” 

 

Dan clung to Phil, his large body looking so small. Phil chuckled, “Dan, think about it, do you honestly think I could do half of the things we’ve done if you weren’t by my side? I can barely order pizza on the phone most days.” Dan snorted quietly. A part of him knew Phil was right, that part was just currently being drowned out by his depression. “If I hadn’t met you I don’t know where I’d be, but I know I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now,” Phil said, very sure of that fact. 

 

“How do you know that?” Dan asked, almost sounding timid.

 

“Because,” Phil replied. “I can’t be happier than this, this is everything I’ve ever wanted and I get to share it with you.” Phil wiped his cheek feelings tears there again, but this time happy tears. “I don’t want to ever be apart from you Dan,” he added. 

 

“Even if I yell at you sometimes because yelling at myself makes me seem crazy?” Dan questioned.

 

“Even if you yell at me because yelling at yourself makes you seem crazy,” Phil repeated back, with a smile. “No matter what, cause you’re my favorite person, you have been ever since we met.”

 

Dan smiled back at him. “You’re my favorite person too,” he replied. “I am really sorry though and I promise to work on my emotions and not take them out on you.”

 

“Dan, you barely yelled, it really wasn’t a big deal,” Phil replied, booping him on the nose. 

 

“Well…” Dan muttered. “I’ve had about nine hours to overthink it and blow it way out of proportion, so by this point I basically had a screaming match with you, at least that’s how it feels.”

 

“You’ve been feeling guilty about it for nine hours?” Phil questioned.

 

“Ten actually,” Dan said with a chuckle, checking the time on his phone.

 

Phil laughed. “Next time come talk to me, I totally forgot it happened about two seconds after you left the room,” he replied. “It breaks my heart that you were in here by yourself drowning in your own guilt over such a small thing.”

 

“Well… Maybe you can stay in here tonight?” Dan asked. “Only if it’s something you want though; I don’t want to be too clingy.”

 

Phil chuckled. “Give me a couple minutes to get ready for bed,” he said, moving away from Dan’s arms and getting up off the bed.

 

“You’ll come back though?” Dan asked, his voice sounding so small.

 

“Of course Dan, I will always come back,” Phil replied.

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling a bit down last night, so around 5 AM when I still hadn't fallen asleep I wrote this. It was mostly just written to help me work through some stuff and I'm doing much better now ^^ Just thought I might as well upload it.
> 
> I hope you're all doing well <3


End file.
